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How Do
I Love Me?
Let Me
Count the Ways…...
By Licia
Berry
January 2007
licia@liciaberry.com
“I don’t
like myself, I’m CRAZY about myself!”
-Mae
West, 1892-1980
I wonder what the world would be like if we all felt this
way? If we could all say genuinely, without reservation, "I'm
crazy about myself!"
If you
are one of the fortunate people who already understand and implement the
powerful choice to love yourself and enjoy the vast benefits, then you
are ahead of most of humanity on the learning curve.
But many
of us recoil in horror at the thought. “That would be egotistical!” “I
would be embarrassed to say that.” Or, “That would be selfish and
arrogant!” We were certainly not taught to love ourselves; in fact most
of us were taught to put love of others over love of ourselves, and this
is why we see the pain that is prevalent. It is truly not possible to
love others from a place of non-love for self. If everyone loved
themselves, it would be a very different world.
What
if I were to challenge that voice inside that rejects the idea of self
love by saying that the universe is literally made of love? Do you
doubt it? What other force but love could explain the sheer generosity
that made everything? What other force but love could cause the grass
to grow effortlessly, and the sun to shine every day, and the infinite
diversity of consciousness that sprawls all over the universe? You are
Source energy! How is it possible that you could be unlovable?
Grass
does not doubt itself and slump over, refusing to grow, and a flower
does not feel self loathing and decide it is not worthy to shine its
face to the sun.
All there is….is love….or the rejection of it. How are you rejecting
love in your life? What better place to start to see love in the world
than inside ourselves? How could we possibly have any effective measure
of influence on the love in the world if we don’t love ourselves first?
And
what if I were to take that a step further and tell you that to truly
love everyone else, you MUST take care of yourself first, otherwise you
have nothing to give? I love the quote from
Esther Hicks when she channeled Abraham:
“Be ultimately selfless in being ultimately selfish by saying that I
care so much about you that I will insist on being in my place of utter
connection so that I have something to give you…..because if I do not
tend to that, I do not have anything to give you, and if I do
tend to that, then I have everything to give you.”
So how do we joyfully surrender to loving ourselves unconditionally?
The
quickest path to self love that I know is to decide it. What I
mean by that is to consciously choose to love myself. One of the
intentions I speak every day is “I choose to love my self
unconditionally, and I ask my angel team to help me do that.” Then I
follow up with choices that support that intention, such as being kind
to myself in little ways, smiling into my eyes in the mirror, and
laughing. For example, when faced with a choice to watch a scary movie
or a funny one, I ask myself “which is more loving to me in this
moment?” and most often I choose the funny one. I feel better after
laughing than I do after jumping out of my skin!
I also
take myself out on “dates”. I insist on alone time because it helps to
ground and center me (this can be challenging as a member of a family of
four!) And I have begun to “court” myself…..I wear things that make my
body feel good or that make me feel sexy, like something soft or with a
plunging neckline, maybe pick out some extra-fancy jewelry (instead of
my usual practical kind) and then I look in the mirror and say ”Ooooh
baby, you are looking good tonight!” Just the other night I was
in the hot tub with my husband and surprised myself totally by kissing
myself on the shoulder. Out of nowhere! It was completely
unconscious! I guess those self-love messages are really getting
through! I crack myself up.
Did you
know that Queen Latifah made a promise to herself that she would not
marry anyone until she married herself first? She had very positive and
strong female role models when she was growing up and therefore had the
reflection of loving eyes and sweet encouragement. She knows she is
precious. She loves herself so much that she bought herself a wedding
ring and put it on her right ring finger, a symbol of how she chose to
wed herself before wedding any other. WOW. Unapologetic, passionate,
fierce devotion to self. Can’t mess with that!
When you
think about it, on this earth we are all we’ve got. Yes, for a time we
may have a beloved in a relationship, or children to dote on, or friends
to laugh with, but we know that things change and that we are left with
our own precious self in the end. Therefore, speaking practically, it
is a good investment to start loving yourself NOW!
“To love oneself is the beginning of a
life-long romance.”
-Oscar Wilde, 1854-1900
What does Self-Love
mean?
Does it mean you get to eat ice cream every night just because you want
it? Well, sure, as long as you love the possible consequences of that
choice! Sometimes the choices we make are out of a place of NOT loving
ourselves. Are you making choices out of self love or self loathing?
Just as a lack of self-love has a vibration, so does unconditional
self-love. It has a quiet, steady radiance which draws others to its
light. I define self-love as a deeper, quieter love; that you hold
yourself in the way you would hold a baby or your sweetest lover…so
tenderly.
And this is because you realize that you
truly are a Child of the Universe, and the Lover of the Sacred.
And we aren’t talking halfway here!
Unconditional love is true love, love without limitations, conditions,
or reservations. This means loving ALL aspects of yourself, not just
the ones that are “nice”, or more “spiritual”, or “attractive”.
You learn to
love
every aspect of yourself, even the ones you might think of as
“negative”. The universe is full of the balance of positive/negative,
dark/light, up/down, hot/cold…..it is the nature of things to have
balance, and all things that exist are here for a reason, including all
of the aspects of YOU. Any unloved aspects of the self will cry out for
love in ways that can keep you bound to the inner and outer
drama.
But if we aren’t taught to love ourselves, how do we begin to turn the
tide and feel genuine caring for all parts of ourselves?
Self-love doesn't happen by luck or the grace of God. You have to choose
to create it. Some things that I choose to remember are:
* Knowing that I am more than my physical body…I am very
clear that I am an infinite being who chose to come here for the
fabulous experience of playing and creating in physical reality. I love
my physical existence and the opportunity to be here in this life.
* Knowing I am a powerful co-creator. I have the power to
choose, and this power is both the greatest responsibility I have and
the greatest opportunity.
* Knowing that I am always in process and always becoming.
I honor where I am in my process without judgment.
* Knowing that my feelings are powerful indicators of what
I am creating, and therefore valuable information. I treasure my
feelings and I respond to them with reverence. They are indeed part of
my inner guidance system. I honor my feelings and act from them, even
if it means setting a limit with someone or saying “no”.
A Love
Ritual
If you've been looking for a way to create a new spark in your
relationship with yourself, a love ritual might be just the idea
for you. Try this exercise: light a candle in a quiet room where you
won’t be interrupted. Invite your highest aspects in to the ritual to
assist you (whoever you feel they may be…use your words….highest
teachers, masters, angels, Source, etc.) Read this passage excerpted
from the bible, and while reading it, feel as if the words are written
for you (they are). Imagine you are reading this to yourself, who is
sitting across the flame from you. Feel the words go into your heart.
“Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking.
It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.”
-I Corinthians 13:4-8
Can you allow yourself
to feel this great love for you? Are you open to the possibility that
when these words were spoken by the master Jesus, that he was indeed
speaking about loving yourself unconditionally? Notice the feelings
that come up while you read this to your Beloved Self. What beliefs do
you hold about yourself that prevent you from experiencing this kind of
love? Write them down. Then, in this ceremonial space, set the
intention to release those beliefs. Breathe deeply with each intention
to seat it in your body. You may even want to burn those pieces of
paper with the old, outdated beliefs written on them. Then, you can set
intentions to:
*Love my
self unconditionally
*Experience and embody the unconditional love that I truly am
*Allow
the flow of unconditional love from Prime Source to flow through me and
radiate outwards to all I come in contact with
*See
myself as the Angels and Prime Source see me, and Love myself as the
Angels and Prime Source love me
Close the Love Ritual
by thanking your Beloved Self/Prime Source/ the Angels/all of your
helpers for guiding you.
“You, yourself, as
much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and
affection.”
-Buddha
You are a miracle. You have within you incredible power and beauty. Your
inner power and beauty give you the freedom to find success, peace,
love, self-confidence, and the joy of aliveness. It is your birthright
to experience life and its deepest satisfactions.
In making those choices every day to love ourselves as we would love our
child or our tenderest lover, and taking action to do sweet things for
ourselves, we literally change our reality. We feel more at peace in
the world, we attract more joyful opportunities and intersections, we
draw more love into our lives, and life becomes the miracle it was
intended to be.
“i found god in myself
& i loved her
i loved her fiercely.”
- Ntozake Shange
by Felicia Berry,
Rev., "Shamama"
Teacher, Energy
Facilitator, Soul Tender, Writer, Wise Woman, AKA The Goofy Goddess
Felicia (Licia) Berry has had direct experience of her connection with
The All That Is since she was a young girl, when she regularly held
conversations with the spirits of the plants, trees, rocks, sky and the
Angels. A lifelong intuitive and empath, she has been a teacher,
facilitator, energy transformer, agent of change and celebrator of life
for 41 years. She is currently working on several writing projects,
teaching classes, laughing a lot and enjoying her Angelic/Shamanic
Energy Transformation practice, where, guided by Angels, she assists
others to wake up to their divine power and become conscious creators.
She was given the title of “Shamama” (a woman-shaman who is also a
mother and who grounds the Divine Feminine in spades); she is
frequently referred to by her clients as “the most grounded spiritual
person I’ve ever met”. She channels the Archangels, primarily Raphael
and Gabriel, and she considers them to be a riot.
Licia is blissfully married to her
husband of 20 years, Peter; together, they co-create with their two
amazing sons and a happy cat in the boonies of the San Luis Valley of
Colorado. She can be reached at (719) 657-0424 or licia@liciaberry.com.
Learn more about Licia at
www.liciaberry.com
and her sister sites
www.goofygoddess.com
and
www.sacred-celebrations.com
and
www.berrytrip.us
(the story of her family’s 2+ year odyssey in their RV, the Wandering
Jude.)
***Coming
Soon…..Sacred Love and The Inner Marriage***
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